By Isabella Chen Aug 2010
Going back to Taiwan to serve Him was truly a wonderful blessing and gift from God. As I learned to trust Him and lean on Him during those two weeks of missions, the Holy Spirit gave me revelations of what had been mysteries to me.
In those first few days, I realized that I cared a lot about what other people thought of me. I struggled with singing and dancing in front of people and acting even minor roles in the skits we performed. I praise God that He gave me grace to let go of myself and serve him wholeheartedly. I would not have been able to sing and dance so joyfully if it hadn’t been for His grace. Somehow, I found myself not caring about what others thought of my dancing or singing. In the words of a song we sang, I let go and let God take over. That was when I found true joy and freedom in serving Him. Praise God because I was no longer bound by my fear of what others thought of me! Being free to praise Him and share my joy with others was a blessing!
God also taught me a lot about faithfulness during the missions trip. The first day of teaching my middle schoolers was terrible. My Chinese wasn’t very good, and my students were constantly distracted! It was hard for me to lead them and get them to listen to me. I also realized that even though I had once been their age, there were many things I didn’t understand about them because I had been raised in an entirely different environment and culture! I felt so incompetent, and I felt like a failure. ‘What was I doing in Taiwan,’ I wondered. ‘Why did I come on this missions trip? Especially since my Chinese wasn’t good enough, and I was such a bad teacher!’ I felt like crying because I felt so horrible about myself. At that time, God spoke to my heart and told me: “Isabella, I didn’t call you to come here because I saw how good your teaching skills were. I didn’t call you to serve me on this missions trip because you were fluent in Chinese. I called you here to do my work, and I want you to be faithful to me. Besides, you are already successful if I love you and you love me. Nothing you say or teach these kids will change their hearts. I am the only one that can change hearts, so stop relying on your own strength! In your weakness my strength is made perfect and I show myself faithful to those who are faithful to me!” This missions trip was never about seeing how many people would like me or my personality, it was never about seeing how many people would be affected by what I said or did, it was all about obeying Him because I love Him. It was all about loving Him and loving those who He loves. He is so good!
Finally, God gave me a revelation of what it meant to ‘love my neighbors.’ I thought I knew how to love people before coming on this missions trip. I knew how to treat people with patience and kindness, and I knew how to be nice. But on the last two days of our first week of missions, God completely changed my perspective. On the last day we spent teaching at Lin Zhi Nei, I looked out into the crowd of kids and my heart was filled with love for them as tears ran down my face. God shared his heart with me, and I realized how passionately He loved each and every single of one of the kids I saw. Even now, I want to return to Taiwan to spend time with them, to love them, and to show them more of God’s love. Now I see that God’s love is truly deep. How wide, how long, how high, and how deep is His love! He loves us so passionately, and He wants us to love our neighbors with that same passionate love. This love is not weak! It is so strong! There is no possible way that I can love others with this type of love on my own. My love is not enough, but His is. Praise the Lord!
The two weeks I spent in Taiwan this year truly changed my life. I hope and pray that God would continue to work in my own heart and the hearts of all that He touched in Taiwan. May we grow deeper and deeper in love with Him! His name is worthy to be praised!